


VUTRAN groupchat

by Jakaynne



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Don't Mess With Pidge, Emo Keith (Voltron), Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hunk exposes, I don't know what I'm doing, Inspired by all other chatfics, Mild Sexual Content, My First AO3 Post, Not Really...Tho, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sexual Humor, Swearing, Too many BTS references, allura is shady, how do you tag?, hunk is an angel, just dirty jokes probably, keith and shiro are brothers, keith is dead, keith lance hunk and allura are all 20-21 ish, not like real though, pidge is age up by the way, pidge is aro ace, pidge is savage, shiro is done with his shit, so just tread carefully, they 18
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2018-10-31 13:59:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10900794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jakaynne/pseuds/Jakaynne
Summary: crawlnmyskin: what is thissavageshorty: sup nerdsLadykillr: a group chat famcrawlnmyskin: ??chefRamsey: yocrawlnmyskin: why thoLadykillr: ...for bonding?akaAnother chatfic that this fandom probably doesn't need.





	1. snitches get stiches

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first ao3 fanfic, first Voltron fanfic, and first fanfic I've written in a year....
> 
> This will be fun. 
> 
> crawlnmyskin - Keith  
> takashit - Shiro  
> Ladykillr - Lance  
> chefRamsey - Hunk  
> savageshorty - Pidge  
> princess - Allura  
> handsoman - Coran

**Ladykillr added crawlnmyskin, takashit, chefRamsey, savageshorty, princess, and handsoman to “I say Vol, you say….”**

 

crawlnmyskin: what is this

savageshorty: sup nerds

Ladykillr: a group chat fam 

crawlnmyskin: ??

chefRamsey: yo

crawlnmyskin: why tho

Ladykillr: ...for bonding?

Ladykillr: and i’m bored

savageshorty: the truth comes out 

Ladykillr: shut it midget 

savageshorty: aight 

savageshorty: say goodbye to ur skincare

Ladykillr: WHAT?! 

savageshorty: b i t c h 

chefRamsey: OHHHH 

Ladykillr: your supposed to be on my side Hunk! 

crawlnmyskin: *you’re 

Ladykillr: l e t s g o emo mullet 

takashit: Aren’t you in class, Lance? 

Ladykillr: Ummm…..

Ladykillr: no

Ladykillr: i’m in the batroom 

Ladykillr: i mean bathroom 

savageshorty: lol “batroom” 

**savageshorty changed Ladykillr name to iambatman**

iambatman: i mean u might b right 

chefRamsey: Somebody asked to go to the bathroom and the teacher said not until Lance comes back and now everyone is wondering where you are bro

chefRamsey: Some kid blurted you were probably taking a shit and is constipated 

iambatman: the fuc

chefRamsey: That kid being Pidge

savageshorty: snitch 

crawlnmyskin: how long has he been in there? 

savageshorty: 20 mins

iambatman: shit its been that long 

chefRamsey: I told everyone you had an upset stomach 

iambatman: ur an angel <3 

chefRamsey: I know 

iambatman: i’m coming now 

savageshorty: ew keep that info to urself

iambatman: i meant i’m _coming back_ to the classroom! 

crawlnmyskin: lol

iambatman: did emo mullet just use lol?

crawlnmyskin: bite me 

takashit: kinkshame 

savageshorty: lmao shiro just kinkshamed his little bro

crawlnmyskin: fuck off 

savageshorty: Lance just came in class looking so red cause everyone was softly laughing 

chefRamsey: Then someone made a farting noise….

chefRamsey: Again, it was Pidge 

savageshorty: cant prove shit bitch 

iambatman: you literally did it where everyone could see

iambatman: even the teacher was trying not to laugh 

crawlnmyskin: i wish i could see it 

chefRamsey: Pidge took a picture

iambatman: dont you dare u little shit 

savageshorty: ;) 

savageshorty: [image attached] 

iambatman: i hate u 

savageshorty: <3 

crawlnmyskin: omg he is so red i am saving this 

iambatman: fml


	2. stop attacking keithy boi

_**iambatman changed name to happiestmanalive** _

 

happiestmanalive: Hii beautiful people~ 

 

savageshorty: aight 

 

savageshorty: what happened 

 

happiestmanalive: nothing happened fam 

 

happiestmanalive: i just can’t be happy 

 

happiestmanalive: i’m alive 

 

happiestmanalive: i have food 

 

happiestmanalive: i have a roof over my head

 

happiestmanalive: i’m the most handsome person around 

 

happiestmanalive: chicks love me 

 

savageshorty: bullshit, 

 

happiestmanalive: r00d

 

happiestmanalive: im serious tho

 

happiestmanalive: isnt life great 

 

chefRamsey: Keith tripped in the hallway

 

savageshorty: ha

 

happiestmanalive: it was beautiful 

 

crawlnmyskin: stop 

 

crawlnmyskin: leave me alone 

 

happiestmanalive: not my fault your clusmy 

 

crawlnmyskin: says the one who walked in the wall yesterday 

 

happiestmanalive: I SNEEZED MY EYES SHUT FOR A SECOND 

 

savageshorty: and it just so happened the new girl was walking right by 

 

chefRamsey: Oh you mean Nyma? 

 

happiestmanalive: lies 

 

happiestmanalive: we was talkn bout Keithy boi remember 

 

crawlnmyskin: don’t call me that

 

happiestmanalive: wat r u gon a do bout it Keithy boi 

 

crawlnmyskin: …

 

takashit: Ohhh hush mode.

 

savageshorty: lol 

 

crawlnmyskin: i hate mu life 

 

takashit: *my 

 

crawlnmyskin: i came her to have a good time and i feel so attacked right now 

 

happiestmanalive: lol did he just use a meme

 

crawlnmyskin: fuck iff 

 

takashit: *off 

 

happiestmanalive: *off 

 

savageshorty: *off 

 

chefRamsey: *off 

 

_**crawlnmyskin has left the chat** _

 

_**happiestmanalive added crawlnnyskin to the chat** _

 

happiestmanalive: no one escapes 

 

crawlnmyskin: fml

 

chefRamsey: I’ll talk to you guys later 

 

chefRamsey: Class is starting

 

happiestmanalive: bye bestie <3

 

chefRamsey: <3

 

takashit: Aren't you in that class too, Lance?

 

takashit: You should be paying attention. 

 

happiestmanalive: yes dad 

 

takashit: And don't you have an interview in 20 minutes, Keith? 

 

crawlnmyskin: s h i t 

 

thehappiestmanalive: hahahha

 

takashit: Lance. 

 

happiestmanalive: yea yea pay attention 

 

savageshorty: looks like its just me and you Shiro 

 

takashit: Did you finish your paper for English? 

 

savageshorty: ,,,i’m doin it rn 

 

takashit: Oh really? Then why are you in the comic section at the library. 

 

savageshorty: wha-fuck 

 

takashit: I can still see you even if you duck. 

 

takashit: Now you’re dodging in between the aisles…

 

takashit: You may be small but- did you just flick me off??

 

takashit: Alright, I’m coming to get you now. 

 

takashit: Where did you go? 

 

takashit: Wait, I see you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What even is this chapter? 
> 
> Allura and Coran appears in the next chapter btw.


	3. keith is an A.R.M.Y

takashit: Long story short we got kicked out. 

 

savageshorty: on a warning 

 

happiestmanalive: lol y

 

savageshorty: well Shiro started 2 chase me so obvious i run rite

 

takashit: No, you don’t. 

 

happiestmanalive: yes

 

savageshorty: an so im not payn atte tion to where im going

 

savageshorty: next thing i kno i run into the librarian 

 

savageshorty: and he like goes flying to tbe moon and crashes into a cart full of books

 

happiestmanalive: isnt he like super buff n stuff 

 

happiestmanalive: how a little gremlin like u not just knock him over but make him crash into a cart??

 

savageshorty: fuck you thats how

 

savageshorty: but seriously he was so mad

 

takashit: And he was super embarrassed. Everyone was laughing at how such a small fry can take out a full grown man. 

**_happiestmanalive changed savageshorty name to savagesmallfry_ ** ____

__

__savagesmallfry: hoe_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: GUYS_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: GUESS FUCKIN WHAT_ _

__

__happiestmanalive: damn_ _

__

__savagesmallfry: ouch man_ _

__

__chefRamsey: Hey Keith_ _

__

__takashit: What happened? Did you get the job?_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: hey hunk_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: and yes i did but that isnt what i was talking about_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: BTS WON THE BBMAS FOR TOP SOCIAL ARTIST_ _

__

__happiestmanalive: who_ _

__

__chefRamsey: ummm….who?_ _

__

__savagesmallfry: Wtf, y didnt I kno bout this??!_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: WITH OVER 300 MILLION VOTES_ _

__

__takashit: I haven’t slept in two weeks. He won’t stop ranting about it._ _

__

__happiestmanalive: umm…._ _

__

__chefRamsey: Oh they that k-pop band Keith listens to 24/7, right_ _

__

__happiestmanalive: u mean when he’s not listening to his emo songs like MCR_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: first fuck u i’m not emo_ _

__

__happiestmanalive: lie_ _

__

__savagesmallfry: ^_ _

__

__chefRamsey: ^_ _

__

__takashit: ^_ _

__

__Handsoman: ^_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: w o w_ _

__

__princess: ew I hate that symbol_ _

__

__happiestmanalive: Well hey there princess ;)_ _

__

__princess left the conversation_ _

__

__happiestmanalive: ;(_ _

__**_savagesmallfry changed happiestmanalive name to get-rekt_ ** _ _

__

__get-rekt: hoe_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get this up earlier...but then I didn't  
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ A little short, but I'll try to get the next chapter up soon! Thanks for the kudos too :D


	4. a beautiful rivalry

**_get-rekt changed conversation to covfefe is gay culture_ ** ____

__

__**_get-rekt changed named to sharpshooter_ ** _ _

__

__sharpshooter: hey_ _

__

__savagesmallfry: sup bitches_ _

__

__takashit: Pidge, language._ _

__

__savagesmallfry: u litearly hav shit in ur nam_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: lol you cant spell at all_ _

__

__savagesmallfry: lik u any betr emo fuck_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: ixm not emo!_ _

__

__savagesmallfry: “crawlnmyskin”_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: linkin park isnt emo_ _

__

__takashit: To be honest, Keith, you do act like it sometimes especially when you listen to them and sit by yourself while staring at the wall._ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: …._ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: they make me think about mu life and deep shit_ _

__

__Handsoman: *my_ _

__

__sharpshooter: ^_ _

__

__chefRamsey: ^_ _

__

__savageshorty: ^_ _

__

__takashit: ^_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: …._ _

__

__princess: wtf stop that_ _

__

__sharpshooter: lol triggered_ _

__

__chefRamsey: Hi Allura and Coran :)_ _

__

__princess: hey Hunk_ _

__

__Handsoman: Hello, Hunk._ _

__

__princess: lance why the username_ _

__

__sharpshooter: oh yeah, u kno how keithy boi has been teaching me karate_ _

__

__sharpshooter: i decifed to tak him to a shooting range_ _

__

__sharpshooter: we decided 2 hav a competikn_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: he did_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: insisting on a our “rivary”_ _

__

__sharpshooter: dont act like its one-sided_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: i mean...it kinda of is?? like everything doesnt have to be a competntion_ _

__

__sharpshooter: you are just mad i won_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: so i’m still in the lead with 36 to 25_ _

__

__savagesmallfry: “there is no rivalry” “everything doesnt have to be a compention” he says_ _

__

__sharpshooter: anyway so we made a bet n i won so now he has to call me sharpshooter for the rest of the weed_ _

__

__savagesmallfry: lol “weed”_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: i actually thought you would actually could do it_ _

__

__sharpshooter: ?_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: type a whole sentence without any spelling errors_ _

__

__sharpshooter: shut ur quiznak_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: ….yeah you are not using that word right_ _

__

__sharpshooter: dont car mullet_ _

__

__crawlnmyskin: sigh_ _


	5. coffee n spinners

sharpshooter: wait keith u nevr sad where u work

 

crawlnmyskin: ,,,

 

crawlnmyskin: i know 

 

shaepshooter: ?? 

 

savagesmallfry: aww is keithy embarrased 

 

crawlnmyskin: no, shut up 

 

takashit: What’s so embarrassing about working at Starbucks? 

 

crawlnmyskin: ,,,

 

princess: Yeah,what's wrong with that

 

crawlnmyskin: wait for it,,,

 

sharpshooter: HAHAHAHAHHA U EMO MULLET WORKS AT STARBUCKS

 

**_sharpshooter changed crawlnmyskin name to cupofemo_ **

 

cupofemo: there it is 

 

sharpshooter: i bet u drink black cofdee

 

cupofemo: no comment

 

takashit: Actually, his favorite is Iced Caramel Macchiato. 

cupofemo: dammit shiro

 

savagesmallfry: lol 

 

cupofemo: okay but listen,,,

 

cupofemo: its not like super sweet but not bitter either and then you get those sweet spots of caramel and its just

 

cupofemo: the best thing sinced slice bread 

 

cupofemo: plus BTS has a song called Coffee, and they literally say caramel machiatto and i’m like just fuck me sideways

 

princess: lmao 

 

sharpshooter: language princess ;)

 

princess: suck my beer battered dick bitch

 

sharpshooter: ;(

 

savagesmallfry: lmfao

 

cupofemo: haha u just made my day Allura

 

princess: anytime :) 

 

sharpshooter: r00d 

 

**_sharpshooter left the conversation_ **

××××××

**_savagesmallfry added sharpshooter to the conversation_ **

 

savagesmallfry: k who the fuc took my fidget spinner?!

 

cupofemo: lmao who would do that 

 

chefRamsey: It wasn’t me Pidge

 

savagesmallfry: k Hunk 

 

savagesmallfry: which one of you mf took it 

 

savagesmallfry: i will eat ur babies bitch 

 

princess: calm down lol 

 

cupofemo: it wasn’t Hunk and it wasn’t me. I doubt it was the Allura

 

princess: No it wasn’t me 

 

cupofemo: why is it so important? I mean just get another one 

 

savagesmallfry: listen u ditwit 

 

savagesmallfry: i custom mad it 

 

savagesmallfry: like specisl mods

 

princess: What kind? 

 

savagesmallfry: as if i tell

 

savagesmallfry: tbe gov can be reading these messfes rn 

 

cupofemo: they are always watching….

 

sharpshooter: g8 u brougt out mr.conspiray here

 

cupofemo: *conspiracist 

 

sharpshooter: oh you correct me but not Pidge

 

cupofemo: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

savagesmallfry: Lance….u woulnt have seen it lately 

 

savagesmallfry: have u 

 

sharpshooter: lol no i didnt take ur stupid spinner 

 

sharpshooter: sides i got my own 

 

sharpshooter: her name is blu 

 

cupofemo: lettme guess its blue 

 

sharpshooter: *gasps in Spanish* 

 

sharpshooter: how did u know 

 

savagesmallfry: im waychi g u lance 

 

**_Lance changed savagesmallfry name to fidgetgonederson_ **

 

fidgetgonederson: haha very funny 

 

fidgertgonederson: jokes on you 

 

fidgetgonederson: that isnt even my real nam

 

sharpshooter: wdym 

 

fidgetgonederson: s h i t 

 

fidgetgonederson: ive saod too much 

 

**_fidgetgonederson has left the conversation_ **

 

sharpshooter: wat 

 

cupofemo: *whispers* they are always watching…

 

sharpshooter: da fuk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Disclaimer: I have no idea what this chapter is, so I apologize. 
> 
> 2\. I also apologize if you are getting tired of the BTS references. (I should probably stop listening to them while writing.) 
> 
> 3\. Okay so I’m like a low-key memer. So this probably isn’t going to be all creative with a bunch of memes. 
> 
> 4\. Keith username: cupofemo. I was trying to figure a creative username that deals with coffee and I said cappuccino out loud and cupofemo just popped in my head. I thought it was good but now I’m thinking it’s kinda of lame lol. 
> 
> 5\. Pidget Gunderson. Fidget(gone)dunerson. I hope that was easy to get. 
> 
> 6\. I really like the idea of Keith working at Starbucks btw. 
> 
> 7\. I am on a roadtrip to New York rn so I typed this up on my phone and I apologize for any errors that aren’t on purpose. 
> 
> 8\. Thanks for reading! :D


	6. pineapples and kpop (with a side of death)

**_fidgetgonderson renamed the conversation_ |SPACEHOES| **

 

**_fidgetgonederson changed their name to hacker_**

 

hacker: yo this author us pretyh lame at updatin

 

sharpshooter: ahh u broke the fourth wall

 

sharpshooter: D: 

 

cupofemo: ?? 

 

princess: confused like alwayd 

 

cupofemo: u wanna fucking fight 

 

princess: lets gooo hoe

 

**xxx**

 

sharpshooter: so like serious questikn rn 

 

sharpshooter: pineapple on pizza y or n 

 

sharpshooter: if yes u r dead to me 

 

hacker: ew da fuck 

 

hacker: now thats just gross

 

sharpshooter: right!!! 

 

cupofemo: i mean its okay

 

sharpshooter: go die dipshit 

 

cupofemo: make me asswipe

 

takashit: Keith. 

 

cupofemo: whatttttt

 

takashit: *dad glare* 

 

sharpshooter: lol wats that supposed to do

 

cupofemo: sHIT 

 

cupofemo: I'm sorry everyone. Have a beautiful day you beautiful humans!! :D 

 

sharpshooter: da fuc

 

hacker: ^ 

 

**_hacker changed takashit username to space dad_**

 

princess: Pidge :)

 

hacker: yea :) 

 

sharpshooter: o hit 

 

cupofemo: *shit

 

sharpshooter: *leans over to Keith* 

 

sharpshooter: *kevin hart voice* 

 

sharpshooter: its about to go down 

 

cupofemo: *grabs popcorn* 

 

sharpshooter: *grabs a handful* 

 

cupofemo: *moves popcorn* 

 

cupofemo: get your own fuck head 

 

sharpshooter: *grabs whole container* 

 

sharpshooter: how bout u share asshole

 

cupofemo: *grabs container back* 

 

cupofemo: cause i dont want to

 

sharpshooter: *pulls it back* 

 

sharpshooter: sharing is caring 

 

cupofemo: *pulls other side* 

 

cupofemo: good thing i dont care about you or eyebrows

 

sharpshooter: *gasps and pulls harder* 

 

sharpshooter: take that back you heathe.n 

 

cupofemo: *pulls harder* 

 

cupofemo: never 

 

sharpshooter: *lets go* 

 

cupofemo: *flies back with popcorn going everywhere* 

 

cupofemo: Ahhhhhhh

 

sharpshooter: (not that dramatic keef) 

 

cupofemo: (oh right, sorry) 

 

cupofemo: woah 

 

sharpshooter: (better) 

 

sharpshooter: *laughing so hard is crying* 

 

cupofemo: *pretends to be annoyed but soon starts laughing too*

 

princess: what. The. Fuck. 

 

hacker: did they just write a klance fic 

 

sharpshooter: wot 

 

cupofemo: ? 

 

**xxx**

 

cupofemo: remember shiro’s T-swift stage 

 

sharpshooter: yea lol

 

princess: he knew all her songs 

 

hacker: even bought tickets off ebay to see her 

 

cupofemo: had a Swift phone case 

 

sharpshooter: and keychain

 

**_cupofemo changed spacedad name to Blank Space_**

 

sharpshooter: lol nice

 

Blank Space: Hey! We agreed never to bring it up. 

 

Blank Space: What about Keith’s Eminem stage? 

 

**_Blank Space changed cupofemo name to therealslimshady_**

 

 

therealslimshady: suddenly i cant read i dont know 

 

sharpshooter: lmao

 

princess: that was a such a funny week

 

hacker: I still have the video of him trying to rap “Rap God”. 

 

therealslimshady: delete it 

 

**|Aliens are real|**

 

theyareouthere: give me all he blckmail material abot shiro’s t-swift stage and ill delete it 

 

bigfootisreal: deal

 

 

**|SPACE HOES|**

 

hacker: ok

 

sharpshooter: ?

 

Blank Space: I have a bad feeling about this.

 

hacker: nice SW reference

 

**xxx**

 

hacker: So who’s exciting for season 3 in like 2 weeks 

 

therealslimshady: of what

 

sharpshooter: STOP BREAKIN THE FOTH WAL

 

**xxx**

 

chefRamsey: I agree with Keith

 

princess: ? 

 

chefRamsey: I like pineapple on my pizza 

 

sharpshooter: *chokes in spanish* 

 

therealslimshady: kinky

 

sharpshooter: the betrayal! 

 

princess: the dramatic much 

 

sharpshooter: the shade much

 

princess: the disrespeck much

 

therealslimshady: *disrespect

 

princess: suck my ass

 

princess: this isnt how I raised you

 

Lance: ...you didn’t raise me 

 

princess: suddenly i cant read i dont know 

 

**xxx**

 

therealslimshady: i have a pen

 

princess: cool? 

 

therealslimshady: i have a apple

 

therealslimshady: uhh

 

therealslimshady: applepen 

 

princess: ?? 

 

Blank Space: Just stop. 

 

therealslimshady: i have a pen

 

hacker: i have pineapple

 

sharpshooter: give it a rest already

 

therealslimshady: ughn 

 

hacker: pineapplepen 

 

sharpshooter : applepen

 

hacker: pineapplepen

 

therealslimshady: uhh 

 

hacker: PEN PINEAPPLE APPLE PEN

 

sharpshooter: fml

 

princess: ????

 

**xxx**

 

Blank Space: KEITH STOP FUCKIN BLASING KO KO BOP 

 

Blank Space: ITS FUCKING 3;24 IN THE MORNNG 

 

Blank Space: SHUT HE FUCK UP

 

Blank Space: THS IS WHY IM ALWYS STRSSED THE FUC OUT

 

Blank Space: YOUR ANNOYG PICE OF SHIT

 

Blank Space: FUCKN ALWAYS BLASING THAT K POP SHIT AT FUCKING EALRY IN THE MORNING 

 

Blank Space: YU FUCKIN WAT TILL TOMORRWO FUCKER 

 

Blank Space: U BETR BE FUCKI RUNNIN B4 I GET TO YOUR EMO ASS

 

**xxx**

 

sharpshooter: umm…..

 

chefRamsey: Was that the same Shiro

 

princess: idk but that was gold

 

hacker: guys i cant fuckn b r e a t h e 

 

hacker: “blasing ko ko bop”

 

sharpshooter: so many typos

 

Blank Space: I apologize for last night’s behavior. I didn’t realize I was in the group chat. I thought I was texting only Keith. In my defense, I was tired. 

 

sharpshooter: lol he exposed himself

 

hacker: we finnally see hsi true colors

 

hacker: ive screenshoted everything

 

Blank Space: Can we just forget all about that? 

 

hacker: no

 

sharpshooter: never

 

therealslimshady: no, not today

 

Blank Space: Hey Keith! How’s your day been? Where are you? When I woke up you were gone. :)

 

sharpshooter: why am i scared

 

therealslimshady: im hiding 

 

therealslimshady: contrary to what i always say

 

therealslimshady: i actually value my life

 

Blank Space: I won’t do anything. I promise. Where are you? :))

 

hacker: dont do it hoe

 

therealslimshady: as if i’m that dumb

 

therealslimshady: i’m never telling

 

therealslimshady: guys don’t tell Shiro but I’m at the library…

 

chefRamsey: Uhhh….Keith….buddy

 

therealslimshady: wait

 

therealslimshady: this is that groupchat

 

princess: you done fucked up my boy 

 

Blank Space: See you soon! :)

 

therealslimshady: lol he fell for it

 

therealslimshady: i did that on purpose, i’m actually at starbucks 

 

therealslimshady: am i good or what

 

sharpshooter: keef;

 

Blank Space: Thank you for letting me know Keith. :)) 

 

**_Blank Space has left the conversation_**

 

therealslimshady: nhjfdksafklasd

 

therealslimshady: fucl;’’

 

therealslimshady: it was nice knowing you all

 

therealslimshady: cept you lance

 

sharpshooter: HEY 

 

therealslimshady: goodbye everyone

 

therealslimshady: pidge dont fucking touch any of my MCR albums

 

hacker: as if emo ass

 

therealslimshady: or kpop/anime merch 

 

hacker: fucker 

 

therealslimshady: allura?

 

princess: *teary eyed* yes? 

 

therealslimshady: you can have myjksdfjsilfjsjdjl

 

**_therealslimshady has left the conversation_**

 

sharpshooter: o shit did shiro get ther that fast

 

princess: Keith no!!

 

princess: tell me what i can have first!

 

hacker: ^ haha the shadiest hoe

 

princess: fuckn die u short stub pencil 

 

chefRamsey: Am I the only one who is worried about Keith 

 

sharpshooter: yes

 

hacker: pretty much that bitch woudl give his shit 

 

hacker: even tho that prob wont stop me 

 

hacker: it hasn’t in the past

 

princess: shiro just couldn’t wait to kill him before he fuckin finished

 

princess: ah well 

 

princess: i’ll go with Pidge and raid his stuff

 

hacker: wtvr hoe

 

chefRamsey: Smh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. What in the actual is this chapter? 
> 
> 2\. This turned out way longer than I expected. 
> 
> 3\. Sorry for this being so late. 
> 
> 4\. Yes, I changed the title of this story. My wifi was acting up so I turned it on and off. As I was waiting for it to pop back up, I see another wifi (I live in apartment) with the name VUTRAN. I thought it was so funny how I read voltron instead of vutran. 
> 
> 5\. Guess what song I was listening to while writing this? (hint: it's in the chapter)(hint x2: its a kpop song) (virtual cookies to anyone who guesses right)
> 
> 6\. Blank Space as in what happened to Shiro while captive had been a blank space (well not everything of course but details) (also they are in space(also they taylor's song is called blank space)). right?
> 
> 7\. give me ideassss plssss 
> 
> 8\. I tried centering but then I failed so can someone explain it to me....ugh I suck at this.
> 
> 9\. I'M SO FUCKING PUMPED FOR SEASON 3 DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME
> 
> 10\. Hit me up!! (my tumblr is below)


	7. custody problems

**| Space Hoes |**

 

hacker: dad im hungry

 

sharpshooter: nothing that aint new 

 

therealslimshady: why did you have to say that 

 

princess: ? 

 

Blank Space: Hi hungry, I’m dad. 

 

therealslimshady: that got old 30 years old 

 

princess: you wasnt even alive 

 

therealslimshady: exactly 

 

hacker: hello 

 

hacker: is no one gonna feed me 

 

sharpshooter: yeab im starving 

 

sharpshooter: i only hav a half bag of stale frosted flakes 

 

sharpshooter: but no milk 

 

sharpshooter: they dont go down easy dry 

 

hacker: thats not the only thing thats painful when dry

 

Blank Space: Pidge. 

 

sharpshooter: bro your like 10

 

hacker: im 18 so stfu

 

hacker: sides 

 

hacker: i meant chicken 

 

hacker: shit like a sin 

 

therealslimshady: chick fil a never be dry 

 

therealslimshady: 100% juicy 

 

therealslimshady: but wtf wants pickles on their chicken sandwich?? 

 

sharpshooter: bro ikr!! thats loke the only downside 

 

hacker: it tastes fine to me 

 

sharpshooter: traitor 

 

therealslimshady: i feel like we debate on food a lot 

 

hacker: duh nothin mor important than food and computers 

 

sharpshooter: and memes 

 

therealslimshady: ^ 

 

princess: Keith :) 

 

therealslimshady: fuck off bitch 

 

therealslimshady: i havent gotten about you raided through my stuff 

 

princess: pidge did too

 

hacker: bestie rights 

 

therealslimshady: ^ 

 

princess: i’m done

 

**_princess has left the chat_**

 

**_sharpshooter added princess to the chat_ **

 

sharpshooter: mom i’m hungry 

 

princess: tf im not ur mom shithead 

 

sharpshooter: …..

 

sharpshooter: Coran!!! 

 

princess: waIT 

 

Handsoman: yes my son 

 

princess: this botch 

 

therealslimshady: *bitch 

 

sharpshooter: can u be my new mom

 

sharpshooter: i got disowned 

 

hacker: funny he says she is his mom when he wants something 

 

sharpshooter: i’m hungry 

 

sharpshooter: stfu pipsqueak 

 

hacker: ouch that totally hurts me deep 

 

Handsoman: Of course I wouldn’t mind being your paternal/maternal care provider. Even though I thought I was your uncle, I would proudly accept such a responsibility. 

 

**_sharpshooter changed Hansoman name to #1mom_**

 

princess: fuck no

 

**_princess changed #1mom name to crazyuncle_**

 

**_princess changed their name to thebestmom_ **

 

thebestmom: aight dickfucks 

 

thebestmom: i and only i 

 

thebestmom: can claim Lance as my son 

 

thebestmom: i carried him for nine painful months 

 

thebestmom: i pushed him out my vagina 

 

therealslimshady: Allura there is a child present 

 

hacker: yeah

 

hacker: im sorey ypu had to read that shiro 

 

therealslimshady: hes only six people 

 

Blank Space: duck you 

 

Blank Space: *duck 

 

therealslimshady: *fuck 

 

Blank Space: Dumb autocorrect. 

 

therealslimshady: lmao 

 

sharpshooter: we already saw his tru coloes anywy 

 

thebestmom: i will take you to chic fil a right now and will fucking go in there and make sure they dont put no disgusting pickles on my sons sandwich 

 

therealslimshady: #momgoals 

 

hacker: adopt me 2 

 

thebestmom: pft as if 

 

thebestmom: your eyebrows arent anywhere near as fine as my sons 

 

sharpshooter: tru

 

hacker: rude

 

hacker: whatevr Shiro adoptted me anywuy 

 

Blank Space: I did?

 

crazyuncle: You do tend to favor Pidge. 

 

sharpshooter: over ur own bro 

 

therealslimshady: where’s the lie

 

Blank Space: I can’t even deny. Sorry, Keith. 

 

therealslimshady: whatevr 

 

crazyuncle: Since everyone is hungry come over. I’ve tried out some new recipes and would love some second opinions. 

 

hacker: suddenly im not hungry i dont know 

 

therealslimshady: lance im comong over for those stale frosted flakes 

 

sharpshooter: no offense Coran 

 

sharpshooter: but some of those recipes be super shady like once it said to combine peanut butter and sardines 

 

crazyuncle: No offense taken, my boy. I do admit sometimes there some quite weird ingredients. 

 

hacker: like a cow’s tongue

 

thebestmom: *gags*

 

therealslimshady: kinky 

 

sharpshooter: kinky ;) 

 

hacker: nasty

 

therealslimshady: are you disgusted by the cow tongue or lance’s bad flirting 

 

hacker: yes 

 

sharpshooter: h a t e r s 

 

crazyuncle: That was quite a different taste I do admit. But you can’t be afraid to try new things. 

 

thebestmom: theres a fuxking limit 

 

chefRamsey: Do anyone want to come over for dinner?

 

sharpshooter: our fridge is empty 

 

chefRamsey: I went to the store and pick up some groceries 

 

sharpshooter: you are a fucking angel 

 

chefRamsey: :) 

 

hacker: im in 

 

Blank Space: I will love to. 

 

thebestmom: i would like to thank not only god but jesus 

 

thebestmom: momma is broke 

 

hacker: like u didnt buy that new purse 2 days ago

 

thebestmom: i kno thats why im broke tf 

 

therealslimshady: eh i was already on my way for the stale cereal 

 

crazyuncle: Can I come too? 

 

chefRamsey: of course Coran :) 

 

crazyuncle: I have a wonderful appetizer I can bring. 

 

chefRamsey: No need. I have everything already. Thanks for the thought though! :) 

 

thebestmom: the genuine niceness in that sentence 

 

therealslimshady: an actual angel confirmed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. My autocorrect kept correcting fuck to duck on Shiro's part and I was legit about to throw down. 
> 
> 2\. I barely looked this over so sorry for the mistakes. 
> 
> 3\. Also chapter is dedicated to Shiningheart_of_ThunderClan for wanting Coran. He's not in this chapter a lot like you probably wanted but I'll try to incorporate him more :) 
> 
> 4\. Everytime I think about S3 in 3 days I start to hyperventilate...


	8. hunk is an (exposing) angel

**| Space Hoes |**

 

sharpshooter: guys guess what

 

therealslimshady: don’t care 

 

therealslimshady: also can someone change my name already 

 

therealslimshady: since someone took my admin rights 

 

therealslimshady: looks at shiro 

 

Blank Space: Maybe if you stop taking all the kitchen knives, which I need to cook, I’ll let you have nice things. 

 

hacker: old meme 

 

therealslimshady: I NEED THEM FOR MY COLLECTION AND YOU CANT STOP ME

 

Blank Space: Even the butter knives? 

 

therealslimshady: i dont discrimnate you racist

 

therealslimshady: knives are knives 

 

therealslimshady: no matter how dull or sharp

 

hacker: *wipes tear* 

 

thebestmom: *applauds* 

 

sharpshooter: beautiful….

 

**_hacker changed Blank Space name to givethedullachance_ **

 

givethedullachance: Why? Just why? 

 

**_givethedullachance has left the conversation_ **

 

**_sharpshooter changed therealslimshady name to knifefreak_ **

 

**_hacker changed knifefreak name to knifelegendarydefender_**

 

knifelegendarydefender: thank you pidge

 

hacker: np

 

sharpshooter: whatvr 

 

crazyuncle: Did you have something you wanted to tell us, Lance? 

 

hacker: y u remid him tho

 

sharpshooter: oh yeah thanks Coran

 

crazyuncle: Anytime! :-)

 

hacker: y tho

 

sharpshooter: ok so i was walking down the hallway

 

knifelegendarydefender: here we go

 

thebestmom: dont be rude to my son 

 

sharpshooter: and then the most amazing thing happened 

 

hacker: watch it b about a grl

 

sharpshooter: nyma and i made eye contact 

 

hacker: called it

 

sharpshooter: and she didnt turn away in disgust like usual

 

hacker: i shouldve bet $ on thst

 

knifelegendarydefender: umm...congrats? 

 

crazyuncle: Nice! Now step one of getting the girl is complete. 

 

hacker: yeah now step too

 

hacker: actually you know

 

haker: havin a conversatom 

 

sharpshooter: fuc u just wait n see ill hav her falling for me in no time

 

crazyuncle: I’m sure you will, Lance. You are a very nice boy. 

 

sharpshooter: thanks coran :)

 

thebestmom: no one can resist my son

 

hacker: *coughs* 

 

thebestmom: u r aro ace u dont count

 

hacker: plus he is super annoying 

 

sharpshooter: hEY

 

knifelegendarydefender: ahem 

 

thebestmom: u r not excluded 

 

chefRamsey: yeah remember at his birthday party and you got really drunk 

 

knifelegendarydefender: waiT Hunk dont 

 

chefRamsey: and you admitted that even though Lance is the most annoying person you’ve met 

 

sharpshooter: again HEY

 

hacker: shut up u baby 

 

knifelegendarydefender: Please, I’m begging you.

 

thebestmom: ooh spill the tea 

 

crazyuncle: I also am quite curious. 

 

hacker: ditto

 

sharpshooter: ^ 

 

knifelegendarydefender: pidge! what about best friend code

 

hacker: suddenly i cant read i dont know 

 

sharpshooter: ha

 

knifelegendarydefender: u fuckin traitor 

 

chefRamsey: and I quote: “Lance is actually really pretty like...have you’ve seen his blue eyes and man he is just so outgoing and charming...basically everything i’m not….its just   
makes me really jealous sometimes...also don't tell anyone or else i'll give you a papercut

 

hacker: lol a papercut

 

knifelegendarydefender: i was drunk! 

 

thebestmom: damn hunk exposed not only his crush but his insecurites 

 

knifelegendaeydefender: its not a crush i was just stating a fact

 

knifelegendarydefender: uhh….

 

knifelegendarydefender: you know what i mean

 

sharpshooter: yeah that you think im pretty and have nice eyes

 

**_hacker changed knifelegendarydefender name to lovesick_ **

 

lovesick: pidge. 

 

chefRamsey: i mean thats not the only insecurity he has

 

lovesick: hunk! 

 

**_thebestmom changed chefRamsey name to finesttea_ **

 

finesttea: he has almost as many as Lance 

 

lovesick: wait what

 

sharpshooter: hehe buddy 

 

sharpshooter: nice joke

 

sharpshooter: can we pls focus on keefs obvious crush on me 

 

lovesick: its not a crush

 

crazyuncle: Is it something more? 

 

lovesick: WHAT NO

 

sharpshooter: lol calm down red

 

sharpshooter: were just teasing 

 

thebestmom: yeah like i said almost no one can resist my son

 

thebestmom: he takes after me after all i did give birth to him

 

hacker: how should we tell her u r adoptd

 

sharpshooter: idk...on her birthday? 

 

lovesick: shouldn't it be your birthday

 

sharpshooter: shut up cheesy sap

 

sharpshooter: “Lance is actually really pretty” 

 

sharpshooter: cant believe you could be so soft

 

hacker: ikr like ew

 

finesttea: you’ve changed man

 

hacker: i canr be besties with someone liek that

 

lovesick: fine i won't say anything else nice about any of you 

 

**_lovesick has left the conversation_**

 

crazyuncle: He’s not upset is he? I hope he knows we all just joking around. 

 

hacker: eh i dont deal with comforting people

 

finesttea: I feel like I should be sorry...but I’m not 

 

thebestmom: im innocent i didnt do anything

 

hacker: you were the whole reason why this started

 

thebestmom: oh yeah just fuxkjng blame me huh

 

crazyuncle: I think we all know who should talk to him. 

 

sharpshooter: _/sighs/_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Season three is ruined my life but also made it better like come on now. 
> 
> And BTS comeback in a month? I can't even BYE 
> 
> (Thanks so much for the kudos btw! :DD )


	9. hey man

**_Lance started a conversation with Keith_ **

 

**_Lance changed name to sharpshooter_ **

 

**_sharpshooter named the conversation Best Pilots_ ** ____

__

__**_sharpshooter changed Keith name to buddy_ ** _ _

__

__sharpshooter: hey man_ _

__

__sharpshooter: we were just joking around_ _

__

__sharpshooter: and we’re sorry if we took it to far about the whole crush thing_ _

__

__buddy: it wasn’t that_ _

__

__sharpshooter: ?_ _

__

__buddy: I didn’t want you know I was jealous of you_ _

__

__sharpshooter: you really are? Why_ _

__

__buddy: because you are able to make friends so easily and you are so cool and are up to date with the latest trends and I just really admire how you could be yourself and not give a damn of what anyone thinks_ _

__

__sharpshooter: wait you admire me?_ _

__

__buddy: lance_ _

__

__sharpshooter: ok ok_ _

__

__buddy: and I’m just a loner. Heck i wouldnt even be friends with you guys if it wasnt for Shiro_ _

__

__sharpshooter: thats not tru_ _

__

__buddy: yeah it is. last year as a freshman i literally had no friends, no one liked me_ _

__

__sharpshooter: i did_ _

__

__buddy: what...you didnt even know me_ _

__

__sharpshooter: everyone knew who Keith Kogane was_ _

__

__sharpshooter: you were top of the class_ _

__

__sharpshooter: and all the girls liked you because of your “mysterious personality”_ _

__

__sharpshooter: and all the guys were jealous of you_ _

__

__sharpshooter: including me_ _

__

__buddy: r-really?_ _

__

__sharpshooter: yeah i mean you basically had all what i wanted_ _

__

__sharpshooter: i tried so hard to prove i could be just as good as you so i guess thats how the whole rivalry started_ _

__

__sharpshooter: and then to learn that the Shiro was your older brother, basically my hero, just made me even more jealous_ _

__

__buddy: yeah i never knew why you hated me_ _

__

__sharpshooter: ...hate is kinda of a strong word, i just jealously admired u_ _

__

__buddy: but we’re friends now...right?_ _

__

__sharpshooter: i wouldnt put up with that stinky mullet of yours if we werent_ _

__

__buddy: its not a mullet!_ _

__

__**_sharpshooter changed buddy name to stuckinthe80s_ ** _ _

__

__**_stuckinthe80s changed sharpshooter name to jealousheisnt_ ** _ _

__

__jealousheisnt: ha_ _

__

__jealousheisnt: someone got jokes_ _

__

__jealousheisnt: but seriosuly_ _

__

__jealousheisnt: we’re cool right_ _

__

__stuckinthe80s: yeah_ _

__

__jealousheisnt: :)_ _

__

__**XXX** _ _

__

__**_sharpshooter changed the conversation name to teamwork makes the meme work_ ** _ _

__

__**_sharpshooter added lovesick to the conversation_ ** ____ _ _

____ _ _

____**_sharpshooter changed lovesick name to keef_** _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____sharpshooter: since im such a good fried i hav fix everthin_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____sharpshooter: ur welcom_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____keef: *I’m *friend *have *everything_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____hacker: lol fried_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____hacker: ...great now im hungry_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____keef: thank god shiro left the chat_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____sharpshooter: oh yeah_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____thebestmom: we should add him back now_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____crazyuncle: I agree._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**_sharpshooter added givethedullachance_** _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**_sharpshooter changed givethedullachance name to takashit_ ** _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____takashit: Hi hungry, I’m dad._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**_sharpshooter removed takashit from the chat_ ** _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____keef: lets just not add him ever again_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____thebestmom: i agree_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____hacker: lol_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____crazyuncle: Why are you saying lots of love number 5?_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____hacker: dont call me that_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____hacker: and wat r u talkn bout_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____crazyuncle: “Lol” means lots of love._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____sharpshooter: pft no it doesnt_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____finnesttea: Who told you that Coran_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____thebestmom: *sweats*_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____crazyuncle: Allura did. You now that fantastic song you showed me the other day number 5? The one that went something like:_ _ _ _

_______Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down_  
Never gonna run around and desert you  
Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye  
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you 

____ _ _

____hacker: oh yeah xD_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____keef: fuck_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____keef: I can never read that and not actually sing it_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____crazyuncle: So I was singing that in the shower yesterday. I started to really get in it and started to get my groove on._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____finesttea: Yeah nobody says that_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____crazyuncle: And I might have gotten a tad bit in it._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____crazyuncle: And so I must have slip on soap or something. And as I was falling backwards I reach out to grab the first thing in front of my which was after...but obviously that didn’t help me. So my second thought was to grab the shower curtain but it fell as I grab it and I fell out. And when I texted Allura to grab a ice pack and bandaged on her way home she responded with “lol”. When I asked what did that meant she said it meant lots of love._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____hacker: lol_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____hacker: allura right now: *sweats intensifies*_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____thebestmom: …._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____sharpshooter: lmao_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____keef: looollll_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____finesttea: Omg lol_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____crazyuncle: Thanks for the support! :-)_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____hacker: im actually crying_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____crazyuncle: Oh no need to cry number 5! I’m fine! :-)_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____keef: i fuckin cant_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____finesttea: screenshotted and saved_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____sharpshooter: lol_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____crazyuncle: You guys are so nice._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____sharpshooter: lol <3_ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is fucking late. And it's not even funny, wtf. And I sort of fucked up the format, dammit. 
> 
> But whatever I still hope you enjoyed whatever this is :D


	10. i dont even know what to name this one

hacker: ok gyys quick qusrin 

 

keef: Why can’t you write probably? 

 

hacker: sam reason why you can't properly speak to a stranger wo beeing awkward or threatening them

 

keef: ….

 

sharpshooter: “beeing” 

 

sharpshooter: According to all known laws  
of aviation,

 

there is no way a bee  
should be able to fly.

 

Its wings are too small to get  
its fat little body off the ground.

 

The bee, of course, flies anyway

 

because bees don't care  
what humans think is impossible.

 

finesttea: Did you just copy that from the script of the internet

 

hacker: that meme is ded the bee movie is ded 

 

sharpshooter: whhhat pfft no

 

sharpshooter: maybe 

 

sharpshooter: PIDGE I WIL FITE U IF U DISRECKT THE BET MOVE EVR AFDIN

 

keef: That sentence is worst than Coran’s fashion sense

 

hacker: i’m not 

 

keef: uh no offense Coran

 

crazyuncle: I’ve heard worse. 

 

hacker: i just saying no one says that anymore

 

hacker: ded ded ded 

 

sharpshooter: fuck dem haters

 

sharpshooter: and you 

 

sharpshooter: i can say whtevr i want 

 

hacker: um...sorry i thought you knew i was ace

 

keef: they dont have that much low standards 

 

sharpshooter: ass

 

finesttea: why are you like this 

 

hacker: keith’s ass aside 

 

sharpshooter: ….

 

hacker: can we talk about that season 4 trailer 

 

 ** _sharpshooter removed hacker from the chat_**

 

sharpshooter: so how about this weather tho am i right? 

 

keef: ? 

 

**XXX**

 

** >> brother complex **

(2:05): DNA MV IS SO GOOD  
MY TAEKOOK HEARTU  
THEY ARE SO PRETTY  
ESPECIALLY TAE GOD HE IS LITERALLY SENT FROM HEAVEN I GOT TEARS FROM HIS VISUALS AND HIS DEEP VOICE  
THEY ALL ARE SO BEAUTIFUL AND SOUND SO GOOD  
THE ALBUM IS AMAZING AND AGAIN I LOVE ALL THE SONGS AND  
THEY ARE SO TALENTED AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH  
THEY DESERVE EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD MY SONS THEY ARE MY SONS AND THEY ARE AMAZING AND I WANT TO GIVE THEM HUGS AND ALL THE LOVE THAT THEY DESERVE  
AND IM JUST SO THANKFUL FOR THEM AND PROUD OF THEM AND IN CASE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND I JUST REALLY LOVE THEM 

(2:06): _Keith, I know. You have done this everyday since their comeback. I get it but can you stop screaming about it especially at two in the morning._

(2:10): _Keith?_

(2:12): ….fine, I see how it is. 

(2:12): _Don’t be upset._

(2:18): _Keith?_

( 2:19): _sigh_

**XXX**

sharpshooter: CAN WE TAKE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT OUR LORD AND SAVIOR 

sharpshooter: LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA IS A GOD SEND AND IM LOVE HIM 

keef: Oh, he was on the news this morning. 

sharpshooter: Isn’t he the best? All that work to raise money for Puerto Rico. ¡Dios mío!  <3 “Almost Like Praying” is number one on U.S. itunes! 

keef: I can’t believe Trump blamed the victims for the storm. 

finesttea: Lin mentioned that too I believe 

hacker: wait what did he say? 

sharpshooter: "I hate to tell you, Puerto Rico, but you've thrown our budget a little out of whack because we spent a lot of money on Puerto Rico, and that's fine. We saved a lot of lives." - Trump 2017 

sharpshooter: But did he say that about Texas and Florida? No 

finesttea: I love seeing how people are sending funds and help for Puerto Rico 

sharpshooter: I know right! Some of mi tios and other family still doesn’t have power. 

sharpshooter: but no one got hurt 

sharpshooter: I feel so thankful for all the support Puerto Rico has received and will continue to receive <3 

crazyuncle: I know this hits closer to home for you Lance. I’m glad to hear your family are safe. 

sharpshooter: Thanks Coran! :) 

thebestmom: How do I donate Lance? I want to help. 

sharpshooter:The easiest way is to donate money that way they can use it to buy the needed resources. 

sharpshooter: I’ll send you the link. You can also buy the song because all proceedings go straight to the Hispanic Federation. 

keef: #unitedforpuertorico 

sharpshooter: ^ 

hacker: didn’t he write a musical or something 

thebestmom: Yea its called Hamilton 

finesttea: You mean the one allura, shiro, and matt was obsessed with? 

hacker: oh yeah 

keef: ? 

**_hacker added takashit to the conversation_**

hacker: remember when u, matt, and shiro was obsessed with hamilton and u cosplayed them 

finesttea: and you had once cosplayed as maria 

hacker: wait then who cosplay as ham 

**_takashit has left the conversation_**

hacker: and allura got way to tipsy with the shots and broke the table 

thebestmom: what is hamilton? I don’t know her?/// 

**_thebestmom has left the conversation_**

keef: How come I don’t remember any of this? 

hacker: we we still in highschool and you had gone to some summer camp or something 

keef: oh yeah I hated that camp 

sharpshooter: hold on 

sharpshooter: I wanna see shiro in a dress 

sharpshooter: pidge 

hacker: wat i dont hav any pics 

sharpshooter: :( 

hacker: but i can hack into matt’s computer whn he come back home 

hacker: theres’ no way he woudnt hav kep a pic of that 

sharpshooter: :) 

keef: I want it too 

crazyuncle: I would also like to obtain a copy...for educational purposes. 

finesttea: I'm calling bull shark but whatever me too 

hacker: got u fam 

**XXX**

** >> dumbass **

(4:10) Hey...Lance? 

(4:20) _No, go rant to someone else._

(4:21) Fine.  
And did you really wait ten minutes just to answer at 4:20? 

(4:25) _suddenly im a alseep i don kno_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol same Keith. 
> 
> So technically this is posted on Friday because I said so. It's is five minutes after midnight but that's cause I had to edit and stuff so hah. Two updates in a day Whaaattt? Also I know the format is all messed up but its too late and I tried to fix it and its better than it was earlier but can't go back and try to fix it tonight...and I'm probably to lazy to do it tomorrow (or today??) If it bothers you too much let me know and I will do my best to fix it okay :) 
> 
> On another note I don't know what this is. I literally just wrote whatever came to mind. And my fucking coffee isn't helping me stay awake (I think I've gotten immune or somehting is that possible??) 
> 
> Guess what fandom I fucking fell into (if you said Hamilton you're right) so expect more references to that too. Also go listen (or buy but no pressure ofc) 'Almost Like Praying'. I love all the different artists' voices coming together to create something like that. (Kind of reminds me of 'We are the World' song.) 
> 
> Quick story time! So today I was in bed and I was supposed to get up but I was tired so I was about to fall back asleep. My nana always has the tv super loud so from my room, down the hall, I hear the news people mention Lin-Manuel Miranda and I fucking sprint. I literally jumped up and almost fell fucking running to the living room. And then my heart proceeded to die because literally the man is too cute <3 (lol he got me helplesss....stop it you're not funny) 
> 
> Guys I need to go to bed so I'm going to leave whatever this is with you. 
> 
> P.S. My prayers go out to the families of the victims in the Los Vegas concert terrorist attack and to all affected by the hurricanes, earthquakes. I love you all! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure if I will continue this or not. I guess it depends on the response I get. This isn't serious writing, basically I way to get in the flow of writing again. Let me know what you think though/if you see any mistakes k :D
> 
> Also if you want to chat about Voltron or BTS or just need someone to talk to here's my tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jakaynne1


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